Friday, 23 April 2010

Mr Yes

I thought I would tell you about my most recent man....

You know when your obsessed with think they are wonderful, amazing, funny, handsome....perfect, even (I cant believe i am even saying that word!). You are about to give away that Solo bird badge and switch if for a love bird badge. When you realise...he is not giving you everything you need. Heavens I am sounding really high maintenance...I am not (as I was told by my ex boyfriend last night....but that is another story). When I say that he wasn't giving me everything I needed I mean that there were things that seriously annoyed me. Correct me if I am being a loony bird but this is what upset me about him...

Have you ever been with one of those men, who are a yes man? You ask him- "do you want me to cook you dinner tonight?"

Him- "Yes, thanks that would be great"

You- "Ok, 8pm?"

Him- "Yes, I can't wait. I will bring the wine"

Then at 8.20 your standing there....the delicious smell of cottage pie is seeping into your kitchen and you reach for your phone... "Where are you? Dinner is ready.x", you text. Twenty minutes later, you still haven't got a reply. It is 8.40 he is 40 minutes late! You are now sweating profusely from the heat in your kitchen and your perfectly blow dried hair is now sticking slightly to your forehead. You reach for your phone and dial his number.

You- "Hi"

Him- "Oh hey, I was going to ring you"

You- "Where are you?"

Him- "Oh sorry darling. Patrick came over and I said I would have a few beers with him down at the pub."

You- "I cooked you dinner"

Him- "Oh sorry babe. I didnt realise."

You- "I told you earlier. I can't believe you didn't tell me. This is so like...."

Suddenly you realise that the whole kitchen is flooded with smoke and your beautiful cottage pie is burnt to a crisp. You shriek. Turn off the oven. He has just been sitting there distracted by his "mate" and the "tv" or on his way to the pub.

Him- "Anyway darling, I have to go but I will come over later, Ok? Miss you."

He sneaks in that miss you so that you think about him, so that you do not go and cut off his head for making you waste two hours of your day getting ready for him, washing your hair, shaving your legs, cooking a f****** pie! Just for him to cancel on you and make you too annoyed/late/embarrassed to even be able to see your own friends.

Anyway my guy was one of those, lets call him Mr Yes. To make the story worse Mr Yes always ended up keeping his word, he would turn up utterly inebriated at about 3am swaying on my door step, stinking of alcohol and saying "I love you. i love you " over and over again. If any of you think he is sweet or think I am being too harsh. I ask you how would you feel if every time you made a plan with Mr Yes, he always had to change it. I don't know one girl who could actually be and stay happy with such a man. And I am not going to lie I was in love with him....he meant everything to me. However many times he stood me up. But I was still Solo and still proud of it.

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